Fire!

I nearly burned the house down!

OK, so it wasn’t really all THAT dramatic, but there was a real, live fire on my stove top for a few seconds.

I turned on the wrong (glass-top) burner, and someone (perhaps Superman, but one can’t be sure) had left a pamphlet on that wrong burner.

Fortunately I noticed the smoke (huh, I thought it would take longer then that for the water to boil!) and then fire (OK now I KNOW that’s not water boiling) and leaped into action before any damage (to anything other than the pamphlet) was done.

And now I’m sitting here in the family room, fans on, windows and doors open, waiting for the burned smell to subside.

---

I’m also waiting for the internet to come back. Superman spent the afternoon crawling around the attic poking wires here and there, drilling holes and driving to and from Fry’s Electronics. He only wanted to drive to and from Fry’s once, but he got to do it twice because he’s special like that.

Soon, we will have all the internet “things” (and by “things” I mean the collection of little boxes with pretty blinking lights that make the internet work) on a shelf near the ceiling in our entryway closet. This means they will NOT be cluttering up the office desktop. In fact, the goal is to get all computer and officey things out of the office and into the living room so that the office can become a bedroom.

Spare bedroom for now (come visit!) but possibly foster care bedroom in the distant future.

---

I mentioned a while back (via Twitter, I believe) that I would not be tweezing my eyebrows for three weeks. Operation eyebrow takeover has not been as hostile as I originally thought. The three week mark was last Wednesday and I do believe I’ll continue to let my eyebrow(s) do their thing until about a week before the wedding.

---

There's a possibility that the external hard drive we (are supposed to) back up our data to is ruined and that I have therefore lost a few years worth of pictures. My worst fear. I distrust anything that isn't able to be held in my hands, tangibly. I hope to goodness this isn't the case. I would have lost Val's birth and babyhood as well as lots of our first and second years together. I know they're just pictures.... but if any of you have any recommendations on what to do in the future for back-up let me know please!

Superman is thinking about something like Carbonite. I'd rather not entrust my personal data to strangers, though, no matter how much it's encrypted. I mean, I know I already do this online with banking and stuff. And email. So I guess why not just throw it all out there? *sigh*



Twitbook

Well, I'm officially a mother of girls. Of course this has always been the case, but a few nights ago I made it completely irrevocably official when I bought Easter baskets that have - are you ready for this - removable tutus for wearing while hunting for eggs. Of course they are pink and purple and frilly and flowery and I don't know if there could BE anything more girly. I bought them not because I liked them, but because I knew how happy they would make my girls, especially Val.

*sigh*

Yes there will be pictures. =)

---

As Easter approaches I've been brainstorming, trying to figure out how I'm going to incorporate Twitter and Facebook back into my life. Or even if I am going to incorporate them back into my life. I see Twitter as a mini-blogging platform of sorts, so it's important to me because it's writing of mine that some people find entertaining (Twitter automatically updates my Facebook status.) Tweeting itself isn't an issue. Catching up or reading the tweets of people I follow can be an issue.

Facebook is obviously an issue. I was VERY surprised at how often the thought crossed my mind to check Facebook in the first few days and week of giving it up. I was able to see just how much Facebook and the internet in general ruled my time instead of me ruling Facebook and the internet. In the weeks that followed I made the decision to keep my laptop closed as much as possible throughout the hours of the day that my kids are awake. Elaine still naps (for an hour! maybe an hour and a half!) in the afternoons and Val will often watch a video during that time. I try to be productive and use my computer for legitimate work during that time, leaving the evenings after they're in bed for online free time.

I found I enjoyed life more when I did things this way. I want to continue doing things mostly that way. I'm sorry to all my mainly Twitter and Facebook friends - but the people I see face to face every day need to see my face instead of seeing my face behind a laptop. I do think Facebook is a fantastic way to keep in touch, which is why I'm not deactivating my account altogether. It's also one of the only ways I can see pictures that my friends and family have shared.

Here's what I'm thinking currently. Every week or so, I like to get away by myself for a few hours. I am an introvert and this time alone is SO KEY for me to be able to feel like I'm a functional human being. I'm glad Superman is happy to make this a priority. My plan is to check Facebook and read @tweets only during this "time off." It'll be a lot less frequently than I used to be on Facebook, but it will force me to prioritize my time and not be as prone to wander off into a friend of a friends photo album, or waste time in other ways.

So! If you need to reach me, please call, text or email instead of using Facebook or Twitter.

Resolve

Last year I didn't make resolutions; I just had themes. They were "simplicity" and "sincerity." I resolved to try and apply those two words to every area of my life in any way I could. I'm not sure how I did, but it made me think about all kinds of situations much differently than I would have if those words hadn't been at the forefront of my thought process.

This year I've decided on a couple goals.

1. Be attractive (or sexy, where applicable.)

2. Be intentional about living life offline.

If you have ever looked at me for longer than five minutes you are probably not surprised to learn that I have not really cared all that much about my appearance (clothes/hair/make-up) for the majority of my life. I come by this naturally as both my mother and grandmother will tell you they have better things to do than spend more time than necessary in front of a mirror. In fact, my grandma would quote this little poem:

My face, I don't mind it, Because I'm behind it; It's the folks out in front that I jar.

Just the thought of my mother or grandmother primping makes me snicker. It's not them. It's not me. The three of us are big fans of cleanliness (that Dutch heritage!) and functionality. If something is pretty in addition to being functional well then that's just a bonus.

However. Superman is less impressed with this perspective. I've always teased him that he fell in love with me when my wardrobe consisted largely of jeans and t-shirts so what's the big deal? Plus, I'm not all that interested in fashion, nor am I familiar with how to apply make-up and the most complex hairstyle I can do is a ponytail. Yet, the poor guy still complains that I'm just visually boring (well he doesn't say it like that but I can take a hint) and will even ask me to go shopping for skirts and dresses with him. So I go, trying not to grumble about it, and inevitably return with cute clothes that I never wear.

I have a list of excuses as long as my long arms as to why it makes no sense to put effort into how I look. Sleep being more important has topped that list pretty much since the day Val was born. Yet several of my friends manage to look put together and they have kids closer in age or more kids than I do. So obviously I can't get far with that one.

I've decided enough is enough. I'm doing it for me just as much as I'm doing it for him just as much as I'm doing it for my poor daughters who are bound to follow in whatever footsteps I leave. I've resisted being "pretty" in the past because I've seen it as a whole lot of work I didn't have time to do and why should I change who I am just to make my husband happy? It's so superficial. It's not like Superman thinks I'm unattractive. Clearly.

What really got my attention was when someone got me to think about it like this: I am a billboard for what Superman finds attractive (inside and out.) It doesn't matter who sees me or how well they know me - anyone looking at me can probably safely assume that Superman chose me to spend the rest of his life with because he was (IS!) attracted to me physically, emotionally, etc..

WELL. I can't have people thinking that Superman's a dummy can I? I can hear it now... what? That man thinks that unkempt, frazzled-looking mess of a woman is great and wonderful? Huh. I guess I just don't see it. Her personality must be pretty outstanding to make up for all THAT.

So that's goal number one.

The second goal has to do with a fresh realization that if I'm not careful the internet, email, online projects, RSS feeds, social networking - all of it - can pretty much entirely consume me. I've referred back to this article again and again because it's so true. Unfortunately it's pretty unrealistic for me to completely abstain from online life because part of it is very necessary. This is what makes my struggle to maintain balance so difficult and this is why it's my second goal.

I've made rule after rule after rule about my internet use and have found (mostly viable) reasons for breaking every single one. So I've concluded it's not going to be as easy as just making a rule. Or if it is then the rule is set appropriate priorities and practice them! There are times I'll have to jump online to get something and it's those times I will have to jump right back off.

Lately I've noticed a sense of entitlement surrounding my online time. If I go without it for all or most of the day, well then I HAVE to have it that night - I DESERVE it. That may be true, but again with appropriate priorities. Sleep would often be a better choice than sitting hunched over a screen until my eyes bleed. I find myself often getting grouchy when an over-tired child or attention-needing husband interrupts. That right there is just not healthy. Of course I need time for me just like anyone else, but perhaps I need to make the most of what time I get and not demand more. I'm not going to be able to get ALL my projects done and have time to waste on Facebook.

So that's what I resolve for 2010.

Be pretty on purpose.

Throw more of myself into living and enjoying life offline.

What's your stance on resolutions? Did you make any and how did you do last year?

Stupid me

Wow. I think I was (am) addicted to my smart phone.

I recently decided to remove the internet connect-ability from my phone because I was becoming increasingly aware of my tendency to be glued to the phone instead of doing other, more profitable things such as folding laundry, making dinner, showering and oh, I don't know - PARENTING maybe.

I had been all set to get the Palm Pre when our contract is up in February but the more I think about it, the more I'm realizing I just don't need it and it would not be beneficial to me. Since I've been internet-less on my phone my productivity has vastly improved. I'm more motivated. I'm not just waiting until the next quiet moment so I can check Facebook or Twitter or email.

Boundaries are good for me and I think I do better when the internet and all it provides and has to offer is confined to my computer. I always did complain (before I got a smart phone) how ridiculous it is for a phone to do much more than call people. Then I got a smart phone and quickly became addicted, wanting to reason with myself, defending why I NEEDED it. And now I'm somewhat appalled at the power I happily gave it over me and my time.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not judging any of you with smart phones, not at all! It can be a really useful tool - as long as you keep it in its place. I was missing out on real life because I was so caught up in online life. As far as I know Superman will probably get a Pre. I might get something a little better suited for no internet or I might just *gasp* keep my old phone until it breaks!
 

Tweet

I'm not using Twitter until after Easter. I've honestly not missed it as much as I thought I might. I still think of super-cool tweets throughout the day, but I also think of super-cool blog topics throughout the day (not that you'd notice, though, since I have zero time to even shower on some days) so I think my use of Twitter is just another medium for writing.

I like to write. I'd still write even if no one was listening (er, reading.)

That being said, this video is awesome. And, having just twittered through the labor and delivery of my second child I can completely realte to the last scene. =)

How times change... and yet, don't.

Our parents walked into a room and couldn't remember what they intended to do there. They hate it when that happens.

We open a new browser tab and can't remember what we intended to do with it. I hate it when that happens.

Let it snow! Except there.

Wordpress has a special little "extra" that is available now through January 4. I can make it snow on my site. Do you like it or not?

Wordpress also recently added a feature I think is awesome - polls! I will certainly take advantage of this in the future but for now I'll let your feedback on the snow be my first poll ever.

[polldaddy poll=1183470]

Look out eBay

Wigix is here.

20 Q

I've been playing here, especially in the Old Testament section. Putting all that reading meeting and afternoon address knowledge to use! I beat the program with the ark of the covenant - it took 27 questions to guess. It needs help learning so go play!

Kiva

I have not done this yet, but everything I've heard about it has been positive. I think it's pretty awesome!

Remember when...

I've been thinking about all the things I've seen come to pass over the course of just my lifetime. Things that my children won't be able to imagine because they've never known life without _______.

Feel free to add your own. Remember, the changes have to have occurred within your own lifetime. This is something that only our/your generation will be able to say.

I remember when...

1. The only way to roast a marshmallow was with a wire coat hanger.


2. None of my friends had a computer at home and when our family got one it was only because my dad worked for Hewlett Packard. The colors on the screen were black and green and gray.


3. All telephones were wired to the base.


4. Pagers were popular and the cool kids in high school not only had their own pagers but they knew pager code too.


5. We could walk the traveler to the gate at the airport or wait at the gate to meet them as they came off the airplane without having to be a ticketed passenger ourselves.


6. We kept paper maps in the car and used them to navigate our route.


7. No one owned a cell phone.


8. You had to lick stamps.


9. I didn't have to wear a helmet when riding my bike (this varies by state.)

Fixing

Leaving my site half 'done' is irritating but it'll have to wait until I have time. Wordpress went and changed the look of the user interface and so I have to learn that at some point. How easy is CSS anyhow? I think if I just learned it 90% of my blog woes would be solved.

I am totally LOVING the 8-hour work days. I've recently switched from two 10-hour days to three 8-hour days and it is pretty fantastic. Makes me appreciate the hours I work so much more - I'm done at 2:30! That's like, half the day left to play with Kem or do whatever!

Today I came home from work to discover that police had visited while I had been away. Apparently the house alarm tripped (via the motion detector?!?) and so they came to investigate. I have since concluded that Methylene was having one of her usual spaz attacks and collided with the enormous stuffed duck Kem got for her birthday. The motion detector has never cared about Methyl before, but I think that Methyl plus the stuffed duck equaled house alarm. How boring.

After a brief period of me treating Twitter like Facebook (I don't know you? I block you!) it occurred to me that Twitter is more of a public blog than a private Facebook wall-to-wall. Duh. Sorry to the two (or three) people who tried to follow me and I promptly blocked you. Please come back! If I could remember your user names I would unblock you. Jason Calacanis is collecting followers towards a goal of 20,000 followers and then he will give a MacBook Air to one of them, or so the story goes as heard on TWiT. Calacanis used to rub me the wrong way but I've since come to respect him and his opinions. He's good at what he does, you have to give him that much. So I'm following him now and he followed me back almost right away. Given that he currently follows 16,000 of the 18,000 who follow him it's not special at all, but still. There's a chance that one of my tweets might be read by him.

I'm still hungry and I don't know what there is to eat. I wish I could just insert a feeding tube into my stomach and fill it with a balanced meal in less than 30 seconds. That would be marvelous.

Also, tags? Who uses tags on their entries? How is it different than categories and why is it necessary? Please enlighten me.

You all seem to read me most on Thursdays.

At least that's what my blog stats are telling me. Why Thursday?

I wonder how many readers I'd lose if I were to adjust my feed settings to stop sending the entire entry, and just the first few lines instead. More site visits as a result or less? The two people I follow who do this (*ahem*Leah*ahem*SAJ*) are certainly worth the extra step of clicking out of my feed reader and onto their actual site. But if all my feeds were like that I wouldn't be a happy camper at all. I can hardly believe I ever used to refresh my favorite blogs obsessively, hoping they had updated NOW. Or NOW. Or NOW. Or maybe if I just keep hitting refresh they will have updated.... NOW. Thank goodness for RSS.

Also, Kem has a fever of 101.5 and has been asleep most of the day. Poor, poor girl. She's completely miserable with a runny nose, too. All she wants to do is snuggle and rest her head on my shoulder which I absolutely LOVE, but I really wish she would feel better. It's rough being a sick baby. I wish she could tell me what I could do to make her feel better. More clothes? Less? Does me patting your back like this make your tummy hurt? Does your gurgling tummy mean you're hungry or hurting? Are you thirsty? Do you want to rock or hold still? Sick babies are so heartbreaking. A few times she thought she was feeling well enough to get down and walk over to visit with the dogs but by the time she got half way across the room she had changed her mind and turned around, crying for me. She's probably all achey and sore and dizzy. This is the sickest I've ever seen her. Glad she's getting it out of her system now because it would really stink to be sick on her very first birthday (coming up on Thursday!)

Twitterite

Alright alright. So I know that I've been confused about the whole point of Twitter in the past, but now we've established a fairly comfortable relationship, Twitter and I. Let me explain.

Some of you may have noticed that I have deactivated my Facebook account (and if you haven't, then I'm even more freaked out.) This is because not only am I concerned about my privacy (you can't even delete your account! only 'deactivate' and ohbytheway if you ever should want to come back to FB just log in as usual! it's like you've never been gone!) I just didn't use it enough to justify keeping it active. The single most useful feature on Facebook to me was the status updater.  Walls are fine, I suppose, but not a very efficient way to communicate (email, text or phone! there are so many other options!) and besides, I found myself eavesdropping on far too many wall-to-walls for no good reason at all.

I grew to like the status updater, especially after they dropped the 'is.' (It was about time!) Now that I have my pink palm centro at hand throughout the day it's become even more easy to drop a quick line about what's on my mind or what I encounter. Not significant enough for a full blog post but still interesting enough for my friends to follow. Example: "just teared up reading Guess How Much I Love You. Again." See? A whole blog post on that would be boring, but that single line gives you an idea of where I'm at, and something to respond to if you felt like it. Micro-blogging, it's been called.


After I added the Twitter feed to my blog (see top of right-hand column) I saw no need to continue my Facebook account. However (and this is where you come in) now I'm missing out on all of YOUR updates (and you're missing out on mine, you poor thing) so go to Twitter! Sign up! Follow me (superbeck) and I'll follow you.

Also, I've looked into Pownce and Jaiku but they confuse me. Check back in a few months and I'm sure I'll be packing up and moving to one of them. Probably Jaiku, since Google recently acquired them. If there was any easy way to be web omnipresent, I would. The key is to be where all your friends are, except you have to be happy with it too (which is why I never ever got along with MySpace.) Ha. That reminds me. Remember Xanga?

(P.S. Kem's been taking two naps a day, which explains my plethora of posts. =) )

Sunrise, sunset

All through out the day I seem to be bursting with so many things to blog about and then I get home, play with the drooling baby, feed the drooling baby, bathe the drooling baby and put the drooling baby to bed. By the time I eat and talk with Superman and sit down at the computer my brain is fried. I look at the list of topics I intended to post witty and entertaining things about and I'm just not even motivated.

I'm trying this new rule. No phone (meaning web and email; you can still call me!) or computer time while Kem is awake. Wouldn't you know I'm twenty times more productive around the house with this rule in place! I'm astonished at the number of times I catch myself wanting to pop open the laptop to "check on someting really quick, before I forget." Too often that quick check of one thing turns into a quick check of many things which turns into aimless web-surfing and time-wasting. My daughter's life is ticking away and I'm sitting behind a computer screen googling "DIY chicken coop." I don't want her first memory of me to include a computer. She already mimics me using my cell phone and she's not even a year old. I want her first memory of me to be of me looking at her, loving her. Or perhaps even better, me looking at Superman and loving him. Secret Agent Josephine's post about living in the present is a good one. Having our escape every now and then is so important to be able to function as a good, healthy mom but I've caught myself going too far into my escape and in doing so I ditch living in the present for something less fulfilling in the long run. (Although I do want chickens. Maybe 10 of them.)

So yes, I'm not always able to read quite as many blogs or leave quite as many comments as I might like but honestly, can I really get cranky about that when the alternative is to enjoy my daughter in ALLLLLL stages of her childhood? She needs a mother who is present in every aspect for as much of the time as is possible. I'll miss her so much when she's no longer a chubby-thighed little toddler with a Boo-quality laugh.

Teeth

I should have gone to WinCo and gotten some teething tablets or gel. Tonight does not look to be a good night for sleeping. I'm already tired from last night, and then working all day, so I don't feel like trundling a tired, cranky, teething baby to the store. I guess I'll just tough it out. I don't even know if the teething remedies work on her or not. Up to this point she's been happy enough to chew on a cold washcloth or teether toy.

---

Does anyone else find it difficult to focus when listening to an audiobook? Good golly. I had to rewind every five minutes because my mind wandered and suddenly I couldn't make sense of the book because I had managed to ignore the words being delivered directly into my ear canals. It's not that the book isn't a good one, either. My mind just can't stay in one place for a long enough period. At least with the written word I can stop reading and look away if I want to daydream.

---

Hulu.com is finally out of invitation-only beta! From what I can tell it's pretty awesome and I don't think there's anything else like it online. I could be wrong though, seeing as I don't watch TV or very many movies. I think it's a brilliant idea though.

---

I have got to get to bed. I've had enough of these ten hour days.

What have you heard?

Monster speaker cable or... coat hanger?

I knew it.

I wasn't telling anyone that Kem actually slept through the night for the first time in months because I was sure I'd ruin the trend as soon as I did. The fact that I'm telling you now doesn't matter because it didn't turn out to be a trend. Or it was a two-night trend. Still, those two nights of mostly continuous sleep were aaaamaaaaazing. I say mostly continuous because Kem did wake up 1 or 2 times and made a few cranky, sleepy noises that I heard over the monitor (which STILL jolted this tired mother out of a dead sleep), but she fell back asleep within 5 to 10 minutes on her own.

I was just beginning to wonder how long this has been possible. I've been getting up to nurse at first fuss because last I checked that is what it'd all boil down to in the end. Several weeks ago there was no crying it out, or rocking or patting  or singing back to sleep. It was all about the boob. (Also, she's growing like a WEED, so I just figured she needed the night time calories (goodness knows I should be getting them too...)) The sooner I nurse the sooner we can all get back to bed which results in more sleep for everyone. Especially since Superman is gone 5 nights of the week, more sleep is definitely worth the price of getting up to nurse. We're usually done in less than 10 minutes, max. But what if she's been capable of fussing herself back asleep for a while now and since I'm all trained to nurse it's gone undiscovered until now? I could possibly have missed out on weeks of uninterrupted slumber!

But like I said none of this matters anymore because LAST night was awful. We were awake from 12:30 to 1:30.  She was absolutely beside herself. Screams. Tears. Flailing. She sometimes calmed down temporarily on my shoulder as I walked from room to room, trying to hum/sing even though I had to get up to face a ten-hour work day at 4:30. After an hour of not knowing what on earth to do she finally went down after nursing. I wish she could have told me what was going on. She seemed to panic each time I tried to put her in the crib... which is very unusual for her and so heartbreaking for me. Motherhood is so hard sometimes; it's so hard to know if what you're doing is right. I guess that's why no two babies are the same... and why each Mom is the expert on their own children.

Today Ms. L said she had two strange poopy diapers and she has been chewing on her fingers recently, so maybe its time for another tooth. She went down like a rock tonight so I hope it sticks all night long.

---

My beloved camera might be giving up the ghost (which is great, because I'm so ready for a Canon TX-1!) I got an E30 error message while using it the other day (haven't had time to research it) and I suspect it has something to do with dead batteries, but I'm not sure. I do know that as a result at least one file on the camera is corrupted and maybe because of that the camera and my computer aren't interested in communicating. I suppose the next thing to do is take it in to Best Buy. I have never been so happy to have purchased the extended warranty. It's been so worth it for this camera.

---

In other news my weight is finally back in the acceptable realm. It's about time! Ideally I should probably weigh ten pounds more, but given my metabolism and genetics I doubt this is a realistic goal. Now to get into an exercise regime.

---

Speaking of exercising, the dogs and I continue to battle over the backyard boundaries. TBird dug/pushed his way past our (feeble, large, cement-block) barricades on Friday and was returned along with Jackson to the yard by a kind humane animal services officer. The officer then proceeded to use an even feebler barricade to close off the weakened chain link and was somewhat astonished to discover the dogs exactly where he had found them the first time within 20 minutes of leaving them 'safe and secure' in our backyard. He underestimates the power of TBird's sneakiness. He then proceeded to load them both into his truck and was about to drive away when I came home.  Thankfully he issued only a warning and was suitably impressed to hear that TBird's strength knows very few bounds (whole, new fence boards not being one of them.) He agreed with me that crating or tying the dogs isn't ideal (especially while I'm gone at work.) For now it looks as though Superman's chain link replacement section is holding up. I have my doubts about the sturdiness of our other (wooden) gate but so far the dogs have allowed us to win this one. I suspect that if both dogs (but TBird especially) were taken on walks or runs on a more regular basis their desire to escape would be greatly reduced. Perhaps Kem needs a jogging stroller for her birthday. That, or a dog sled. I just pictured a cute little toddler lisping "MUSH!" to her dogs while waving her arms emphatically at the dogs, who are standing around looking fondly at their little human even if they don't understand a word she says. And so I'll leave you with that mental image... =)

Dashing

The feature I most love about my '93 minivan is the dashboard design. Why don't they make cars and vans with dashboards parallel to the ground any more? It's so flat and stable and there's even a little lip to better hold things like my mug of tea or sunglasses or hand lotion or spare change or anything else I need to put down somewhere other than the floor. Bring back the dashboard shelf! Function is beautiful, after all.

Pink Palm Centro

...is where I'm posting from. After scorning the smart phone for so long (why on earth would I need to check my email from a phone? I have a computer for that!) I may be addicted. Whether or not I check my email doesn't matter - the games (Sudoku) on this thing are awesome.